List of Automobile Acronyms

AMC

• All Makes of Cars
• A Mini Can

AUDI

• Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
• Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

BMW

• Babbling Mechanical Wench
• BART / Muni / Walking (transportation in San Francisco)
• Basic Marin Wheels
• Beastly Monstrous Wonder
• Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
• Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
• Big Money Waste
• Big Money. Why?
• Big Money Works
• Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
• Born Moderately Wealthy
• Bought My Wife
• Break My Windows
• Break My Windshield
• Bring Many Wrenches
• Broken Money Waster
• Broken Monstrous Wonder
• Brutal Money Waster
• Bumbling Mechanical Wretch

BUICK

• Big Ugly Immitation Chrome King
• Big Ugly Import Car Killer
• Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer
• Big Ugly Indestructable Compact Killer

CHEVROLET

• Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
• Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
• Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
• Cracked Heads, Every Valve's Rotten, Oil Leaks Every Time

CHEVY

• CHarged HEaVilY
• Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
• Cruddy Hick Engine, Very Yucky

DODGE

• Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
• Dead Old Dog Going East
• Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
• Dead On Delivery - Go Easy
• Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
• Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
• Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere

EDSEL

Every Day Something Else Leaks

FIAT

• Failed In A Tunnel
• Failure In Automotive Technology
• Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
• Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
• Fix It Again, Tony!
• Fix It All the Time
• Flats In All Tires
• Found In A Trench
• Futile Italians Attempt Transportation

FORD

• backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot
• backwards --> Driver Returned On Foot
• Fails On Rainy Days
• Fastest On Road, Dip!
• First On Race Day
• First On Recall Day
• First On Road to Dump
• First On Rust and Deterioration
• Fix Or Repair Daily
• Flip Over, Read Directions
• Found On Road, Dead
• Found On a Rubbish Dump
• Found Outside Refuse Dump (Ref'use)
• Found Outside Rotting Dump
• Funny Old Rattling Dump
• Fraternal Order of Restored DeSotos
• ****ed On Race Day
• Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
• Forwarded Once; Return Denied (Forward Only; Reverse Defective)
• Flying Over Rio DeJaneiro
• Found On Red Dumpster
• Formed Of Rejected/Random/Recessive/Remaindered DNA
• Friggin' Ol' Rebuilt Dodge
• Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
• Fault Of R&D
• ****ed Over Rebuilt Dodge
• ****! Our Ride Died!
• Final Organ of Reproductive Discipline
• Follow Our Ruddy Dogsled
• Fond Of Resonating Decibels
• Finally Obsolete Racing Device
• Fabricated Of Refried Dung
• Forgot Our Recommended Defaults
• Foot On Road Decelerates
• First Order of Reproductive Discipline
• For Old, Rotten Deadbeat
• Flintstone Or Rubble Driven
• Fireball On Rear Denting
• Frequently On Ritalin Designers
• Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream
• Found On Russian Dump
• Failed On Research & Development
• Fatal Oral/Rectal Delivery
• Famous Odor Resistant Dog
• Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin
• Fatally Obese Redneck Driver (onboard)
• Falling Off: Rusty Door
• Free Or Reduced Drastically
• Forced On Reluctant Drivers
• Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
• Found On Redneck's Driveway
• Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable
• Fast Only Rolling Downhill
• Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
• Flipping Over Results in Death
• Flipped Over Roadside Disaster

Ford Acronyms *Incomplete*

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• F O R DNA
• F O Return Denied
• Found Outside R D
• Fly Over R D
• Failing Out R D
• F O Rattling D
• F O Run Down

GM

• General Maintenance
• Goddarned Mess

GMC

• Garage Man's Companion
• Generally Mediocre Cars
• German Milk Cow
• Get More Chicks
• Got More Cr*p
• Got Maintenance Coming
• Got a Mechanic Coming / Gotta Mechanic Coming

HONDA

Had One Never Did Again

HYUNDAI

• How Your Usual Nerd Drives An Import
• Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive...

IROC

• I Race Other Cars
• I Run Over Children
• I'd Rather Own a Corvette
• I'm Really Out of Cash
• It's Really Only a Camaro
• Italian Retard Out Cruising

JEEP

Just Eats Every Part

LTD

• Long Term Debt
• Lousy Transportation, Dammit!
• Little Tin Dream
• Last Try from Detroit
• Long, Thin Dumpster
• Long Time Driving

MAZDA

Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

MG

Money Guzzler

MITSUBISHI

Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete

MOPAR

• Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
• Most Often Passed At Races
• Mostly Old Paint And Rust
• Mostly Old Parts And Rust
• My Old Pig Ain't Running
• My Only Problems Are Repairs

OLDS

One Leak, Dead Starter

OLDSMOBILE

• Oh, Look, Dammit! Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything.
• Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day.
• Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Out-dated By Infamies Like Edsel.
• Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

PINTO

Put In Nickel To Operate

PLYMOUTH

Please Let Your Mother Out from Under The Hood

PONTIAC

• Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac
• Puts Out Noxious Toxins In All Cities

PORSCHE

• Piece Of Retired Scrap, Continually High Expense
• Probably Obtained Recently Since Car-owner Hocked Everything

PROBE

Plainly Runs Only By Exception

SAAB

• Still Ain't A Beamer
• Send Another Automobile Back
• Stupid, Arrogant Arsehole Babies
• Such An Arrogant B**tard
• Swedish Automobile - Always Broken
• Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
• Swedish Automobiles Are Best

SUBARU

(backwards) U-R-A-Bus

TOYOTA

Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VW

• Virtually Worthless
• (BEETLE) Battered Everywhere, Expect To Lose Engine

Related to Driving

• STOP = Stop Tires On Pedestrians
• STOP = Squeal Tires On Pavement
• STOP = State Trooper Out Passing

[All jokes are believed to be in the public domain. If you feel one of these belongs to you, please let us know the details and we will either remove the material or provide a link at your request.]

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