Marriage Quotes

"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."

-Woody Allen.

 "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."

-Rodney Dangerfield.

"Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's

genitals through his wallet."

-Robin Williams.

"A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people

remembering the same thing."

-Duane Dewel.

"When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one

that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad."

-Helen Rowland

"I have never really understood this liking for war. It panders to

instincts already well catered for in any respectable domestic establishment."

-Alan Bennett

"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat

in Europe."

-Jackie Mason

"Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the

hope of pulling out an eel."

-Leonardo Di Vinci.

"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like

and give her a house."

-Lewis Grizzard.

"I'm the only man in the world with a marriage license made out to

whom it may concern."

-Mickey Rooney.

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

-Rodney Dangerfield.

"The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money."

-Johnny Carson