Signs You Are A Bad Cook

 

You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer.

You consider it a culinary success if the
pop-tart stays in one piece.

Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.

 

 

Your family buys Rolaids and Kaopectate in bulk.

When you barbecue, two of your kids hold water guns and the
third stands ready by the phone with 911 on speed-dial.

Your family automatically heads for the dinner table
every time they hear a fire truck siren.

 

 

The EPA insists that all your garbage cans
be marked with biohazard symbols.

Your microwave display reads "TILT!"

Your two best recipes are meatloaf and apple pie,
but your dinner guests can't tell which is which.

 

 

Your pie filling bubbles over and eats the enamel off the bottom of the oven.

You've used three boxes of scouring pads and a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, and that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan.

Pest control companies keep pestering you for your recipes.

 

You make tuna noodle surprise and the surprise is
that it glows in the dark and melts the silverware.

Your kids know exactly what 'peas porridge
in a pot nine days old' tastes like.

Your family prays AFTER they eat!

[All jokes are believed to be in the public domain. If you feel one of these belongs to you, please let us know the details and we will either remove the material or provide a link at your request.]

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