Richard Lowe Jr
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Truisms

1. Birds of a feather flock together, and then crap on your
   car.

2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time
   to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how
   nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
 
 
3. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the
   neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
 

4. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be
    vague.

5. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
 

6. A penny saved is a government oversight.
 

7. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right
   thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong
   thing at the tempting moment.
 

8. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight,
   because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
 

9. The easiest way to find something lost around the house
   is to buy a replacement.

10. He who hesitates is probably right.
 

11. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
 

12. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in
mind to blame.
 

13. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when
    he's really in trouble.
 

14. The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's
open.
 

15. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth!
 

[All jokes are believed to be in the public domain. If you feel one of these belongs to you, please let us know the details and we will either remove the material or provide a link at your request.]

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