"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
I said to my wife, "Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in our road except one."
And she said, "I'll bet it's that stuck-up Sylvia at number 23."
A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!"
The woman says, dryly, "I'll miss you."
Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing.
"Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead, right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"
"Oh dear! I'm very sorry," replied her friend. "What did you do?"
"Opened a can of peas instead."
[All jokes are believed to be in the public domain. If you feel one of these belongs to you, please let us know the details and we will either remove the material or provide a link at your request.]
Unless otherwise noted, all photos and text is Copyright © Richard G Lowe, Jr.