1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS
4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION
5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
6. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION
7. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY
8. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is
MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
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Unless otherwise noted, all photos and text is Copyright © Richard G Lowe, Jr.