Bonehead award one goes to a Flemish woman who was bitten on her hand and wrist by a jaguar at the zoo after she jumped the meter high fence, and then a wall with cacti on top, to gain entry to the jaguar's cage so she could take a better picture of it.
It's believed that her screaming scared it off long enough for her to be rescued.
She got the picture all right, although she never got the photograph.
Gazet van Antwerpen (Belgium) via Ananova (29-Jul-02)
Is Your Luggage Happy To See Me?
Bonehead award two is shared by three employees of Delta Airlines in Clearwater, Florida and a female passenger.
It all began when the woman was called off her flight because her luggage was vibrating. Opening the bag in the tarmac where passengers on the plane could see, the Delta agents made her pull out the vibrating item and hold it up; it was a vibrator (sex toy). She says three male Delta employees then began laughing hysterically and made "obnoxious and sexually harassing comments," climaxing in a lawsuit claiming public humiliation.
San Francisco Chronicle 29-Jul-02
Bonehead award three, a "too dumb to be a criminal" bonehead award, goes to two alleged burglars in Joplin, Missouri who, after robbing a home, called the victims offering to sell back the stolen goods if they would meet them at a nearby Wal-mart, according to police who say they arrested the pair at the nearby Wal-mart.
News-Leader (Springfield, Missouri) 8-Jun-02
A police department with a learning disability.
Bonehead award four goes to the Cleveland, Ohio, police department, which has mistakenly arrested and handcuffed "Betty Horton" instead of "Bettie Horton" THREE TIMES in the past EIGHT MONTHS, for heaven's sake!!
"I'm scared," says the innocent Betty Horton. "Every time I see the police, I think I'm going to get arrested."
The other Bettie has yet to be arrested, even once.
Cleveland Plain Dealer 30-Jul-02
Pee Brain
Bonehead award five goes to a woman, employed at the Sacred Heart Hospital in Allentown, Pennsylvania, who caused a police and fire department alert when she left three jugs of an amber-colored liquid, later determined to be urine, in the hospital cafeteria along with a note saying "for the purpose of healing others." This came after two similar jugs were found earlier in the week in the emergency room.
Why did she?
"She believed it to have healing powers," the police said.
The Morning Call (Allentown, Pennsylvania) 26-Jul-02
Bonehead award six goes to a Tulsa, Oklahoma, woman, charged with robbing the bank she worked at as part of a bizarre plan to punish her direct reports whose work ethic she didn't like (her ethic is a better one??). She thought bonuses would be cancelled for them if money was found missing.
So, what brilliant plan did she come up with?
She told a teller that someone who wanted some money placed into the trashcan in the parking lot within the next five minutes had just told her that a bomb would go off if it weren't done. So she had a teller get a bag of money together, which she insisted taking out to the parking lot alone.
While outside, she took $40,000 from the bag and placed it into her car trunk and then left the remaining $9,160 in the trashcan. The idea apparently being that when the police came and found just $9,160 in the can, everyone would assume that bank employees only said they put $49,160 into the bag to take advantage of an opportunity to cover up a $40,000 embezzlement from before and everyone would get in trouble and so on and so forth. And she'd be $40,000 richer to boot, according to police who, knowing she was the last one to handle the money, asked her to open her car trunk.
Channel 9 News (Oklahoma) 21-Jul-02
Bonehead award seven, a "too dumb to be a criminal bonehead award," goes to two 17-year-old Wayne County, New York teenagers who videotaped themselves vandalizing a police car at an auto repair place. When they were pulled over by police because they matched a witness' description, police found the tape, dubbed by police as, "the world's stupidest video."
Additionally, the police said the videotape included recordings of other "events previous to this that are still being investigated."
Democrat and Chronicle (Rochester, NY) 29-Jul-02
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Unless otherwise noted, all photos and text is Copyright © Richard G Lowe, Jr.