AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
BMW
Be My Wife
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Break My Windows
Brutal Money Waster
Business, Money and Woman
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
DODGE
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
FIAT
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix It Again, Tony!
FORD
backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot
Fault Of R & D
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Found On Russian Dump
GM
General Maintenance
GMC
Garage Man's Companion
Got a Mechanic Coming?
HONDA
Had One Never Did Again
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else.
HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive . . .
MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every
day.
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover
equipment
PROTON
Possibly the Riskiest Option to Travel On-road Nowadays.
SAAB
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW
Virtually Worthless
[All jokes are believed to be in the public domain. If you feel one of these belongs to you, please let us know the details and we will either remove the material or provide a link at your request.]
Unless otherwise noted, all photos and text is Copyright © Richard G Lowe, Jr.