A high school senior saw an inspirational advertisement on television about becoming a teacher. She called the number shown: 1-800-45TEACH. After a woman answered, the student babbled on about how she thought she had found her life's calling and could she send her some information.
The lady who answered the phone asked the student what number she was calling. The student told her and there was a long pause. Then she said, "You misspelled TEACH."
After a recent move, I made up a list of companies, agencies, and services that needed to know my new address and phoned each one to ask for the change to be made.
Everything went smoothly until I called one of my frequent flier accounts. After I explained to the representative what I wanted to do, the woman told me, "I'm sorry; we can't do that over the phone. You will have to fill out our change-of-address form."
"How do I get one of those?" I asked.
"We'd be happy to provide you with one," she said pleasantly. "May I have your new address so that I can mail it to you?"
When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic socks. "Will you open this up so I can see how the socks feel?" she asked.
Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the merchandise. She handed me the package saying, "I'll take them."
Relieved, I started to ring her up, until she interrupted me: "Can I have another pack? This one's been opened."
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!" The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use that kind of language in the Lord's House. The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!" The preacher said, "No shit?"
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Unless otherwise noted, all photos and text is Copyright © Richard G Lowe, Jr.