So You Want To Adopt A Cat?

       Your Name:_______________________
       Name of Spouse:_______________________

       Address of home I will be assuming:
       __________________________________________

       Square footage of home:__________

       Total Sq. Ft. of human sleeping quarters (referred hereinafter as
       'Servants Quarters') (Not to exceed 5% of home sq. footage):__________

       My sleeping quarters will be (check all that apply):
       ____  On a cat bed.
       ____  On your bed. (referred hereinafter as 'my' bed)
       ____  On the floor.
       ____  On the furniture.
       ____  On the stairs.
       ____  In the garage.
       ____  Anywhere I want.

       Number of children in my home:____

       Number of children who might pull my tail:____

       Previous cat experience (circle all that apply):

       ____  I have recently owned one or more cats.
       ____  I was recently owned by one or more cats.
       ____  Fed a cat.
       ____  Been slept on by a cat.
       ____  Cleaned a litter box.
       ____  Bathed a cat.
       ____  Been scratched by a cat.
       ____  Picked cat fur off my clothes.
       ____  Picked cat fur out of my eyes.
       ____  Accidentally ran over a cat.
       ____  Allergic to cats.
       ____  Chased cats out of yard.
       ____  Cleaned up cat puke.
       ____  Stepped in a hairball.

       Any Canines in residence? (check all that apply):

       No____
       No____

       Have you ever had a cat run away from this address in the last three
       years?

       Yes ____
       No ____
       If yes, please explain yourself:
__________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

       Your Expected salary (check one):
       ____  $200 weekly
       ____  $100 weekly
       ____  Nothing, just the satisfaction of knowing you took me in.
       ____  You pay me for living with you.

       Location of litter box (check all that apply):
       ____  Laundry Room
       ____  Living Room
       ____  Garage
       ____  Bathroom
       ____  Dining Room
       ____  Pantry
       ____  Nook
       ____  Kitchen
       ____  None (outside)

       Cat will have outside privileges? (check one):
       Yes____
       Yes____

       Cat will be de-clawed? (check one):
       No____
       No____

       Servant names (List all dwellers of home, including yours):

       Breakfast will be served not later than (check one):
       ____  6am
       ____  6am
       ____  6am
       ____  6am

       Dinner will be served (check one-careful, there is only one right
       answer):
       ____  5pm
       ____  6pm
       ____  7pm
       ____  Upon demand.
       ____  Eat what's left over from breakfast.

       Menu (circle all that apply):
       ____  Friskies
       ____  Whiskas
       ____  9-Lives
       ____  Meat Loaf
       ____  BBQ Chicken
       ____  Filet Mignon
       ____  Tournados with Bearnaise
       ____  Roti De Porc Poele
       ____  Filet of Fish Poached in Wine Sauce
       ____  Shoulder of Lamb
       ____  Veal Prince Orloff
       ____  Sauteed Scallops
       ____  Salmon Pate

       Desserts (circle all that apply):

       ____  Pounce
       ____  Twinkies
       ____  Donuts
       ____  Ice Cream
       ____  Spongecake
       ____  Strawberries in Bavarian Cream
       ____  Caramel Almond Custard
       ____  Vanilla Sauce Souffle
       ____  Upside Down Apple Tart
       ____  Crepes with Orange Butter
       ____  Three Butter Cream cake

       List three references that I might contact (No dogs, please):
       _____________________________________ (Phone) _______________
       _____________________________________ (Phone) _______________
       _____________________________________ (Phone) _______________

 

[All jokes are believed to be in the public domain. If you feel one of these belongs to you, please let us know the details and we will either remove the material or provide a link at your request.]

---