The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. [Helen Hayes, at 73]
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. [Janette Barber]
Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone. [Jan King]
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. [Carrie Snow]
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. [Laurie Kuslansky]
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. [Erma Bombeck]
Old age ain't no place for sissies. [Bette Davis]
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. [Rhonda Hansome]
The phrase "working mother" is redundant. [Jane Sellman]
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. [Jennifer Unlimited]
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. [Caryn Leschen]
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. [Catherine Aird]
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss and they called ME slow! [Kathy Buckley]
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. [Erica Jong]
If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them. [Sue Grafton]
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. [Roseanne Barr]
I think - therefore I'm single. [Lizz Winstead]
[All jokes are believed to be in the public domain. If you feel one of these belongs to you, please let us know the details and we will either remove the material or provide a link at your request.]
Unless otherwise noted, all photos and text is Copyright © Richard G Lowe, Jr.