Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
If you've never smoked, you can start now and it won't have time to hurt you.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
Your eyes won't get much worse.
Adult diapers are actually kind of convenient.
Things you buy now won't wear out.
No one expects you to run into a burning building.
There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
[All jokes are believed to be in the public domain. If you feel one of these belongs to you, please let us know the details and we will either remove the material or provide a link at your request.]
Unless otherwise noted, all photos and text is Copyright © Richard G Lowe, Jr.