Hiring Mistakes

You Should Never Hire Anyone...

• whose resume is printed in crayon. 
• who asks to be addressed as "Frenchy," "Swifty", or "Your Grace." 
• who makes observations such as, "Torquemada, now there was a motivational wizard." 
• who hisses at your questions. 
• whose "interview suit" is red-and-white checked. 
• who prefers to work while sitting in a washtub filled with Roosevelt dimes. 
• who carries a $200 attaché case with a SEE ROCK CITY bumper sticker on it. 
• who thinks your corporate logo should be redesigned by Hanna Barbera. 
• who has an extensive background as a: (a) religious fanatic, (b) paid informant, (c) harbor buoy, (d) human fly, or (e) UFO captive. 
• who quotes Leon Trotsky more than four times, Abbie Hoffman more than twice, or Morris the Cat at all. 
• who was once discharged for booby-trapping his (or her) Rolodex. 
• who breaks into racking sobs when asked to name a personal reference. 
• whose resume is self-incriminating. 
• who demands repeated assurances that your firm hires "only the undead." 
• who says, "For sure," more times than you can keep count of. 
• who wears a Walkman -- or carries a cassette player the size of a life raft. 
• whose resume includes extensive dialogue. 
• who took his (or her) MBA at Ernie's University in Reno, Nevada, or from any institution of higher learning whose address is a post office box.

[All jokes are believed to be in the public domain. If you feel one of these belongs to you, please let us know the details and we will either remove the material or provide a link at your request.]

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