D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for
up to 8 full hours.
ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to two days.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and
loneliness by reminding you of
how
awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't
wait till they moved out.
P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full
cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases
intelligence, and prevents
conception.
D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously
low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by
controlling road rage and the urge
to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases
resistance to such lethal
lines as, "You make me want to be a better person .
Can we get naked now?"
B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.
Increases potency, duration,
and credit limit of spending spree.
J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember
your birthday,
anniversary or phone number.
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on
anyone too eager to share
their life stories with total strangers in
elevators.
N A G A M E T
When administered to a husband, provides the same
irritation level as
nagging
him all weekend, saving the wife the time and
trouble of doing it herself.
[All jokes are believed to be in the public domain. If you feel one of these belongs to you, please let us know the details and we will either remove the material or provide a link at your request.]
Unless otherwise noted, all photos and text is Copyright © Richard G Lowe, Jr.